User Profile

Hey everyone. I guess I am mostly doing this because I have a lot to say but don't really have anyone to say it to, or anything for that matter. If that makes any sense at all. There is so much going on that I can't freely talk about to the people in my life so I guess it would be easier saying everything to strangers? Ha. Anyways, I just need somewhere where people won't judge me for the way I feel or what I write.

I guess I should start out with the basics. I am a sophmore in high school. My mom died when I was 12 so I don't really have anyone to turn to except my dad which is the last place a teenage girl wants to turn. But I guess its not all that bad because he has been taking care of us for awhile and he has really been the only one I could talk to since my mom had a hard time talking. But yeah, its still hard to go to him about anything personal. My grandma and aunts and family friends keep telling me that I can always go to them if I need to talk but thats just not the same ya know?

My dad was told that he has cancer a few months ago. I guess since then I have been running, confussed, a whole bunch of things but I haven't been the same. Its just so much to deal with for as young as I am. I just sometimes wish that I could run far away from here and never look back, just keep running. Sadly enough, I know that wouldn't be the right thing to do.

To sum everything up, my best friend (or who I thought was my best friend) is moving to Illinois (sp?). His dad is going to preach at a church down there. But the sad thing is, when I talked to him on the phone about this and what he will be doing down there, he told me that he will probably go to prom if he can find a date. But, he wouldn't go to prom here because there isn't anyone here that he would go with. Ha. Maybe I'm being juvinile about this, but it just tore me in two when he told me that. Boys. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.

My dream in life is to one day travel to different places and see the world. I'm big on photography and this world is just too beautiful to pass up. I mean, how could someone live their life here on Earth and not even stop to recongnize the beauty around them. I guess it happends everyday. People get up, go to work, come home, make dinner, and between all of that find some time to just relax and enjoy things. I believe that is what we need to do more of. Relax. There is too much stress these days. Worrying if we're in the right group or have the latest trends or the right friends or the right jobs or the right houses or the right kind of shoes. Do those things really matter? Should we really be stressing over the silliest things? Don't get me wrong, I do it all the time. But I'm getting sick of it. I want change. Don't you?

Oh wow, I'm babbling..Haha, well, I think thats all for now...

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